Party-a-Porter : Dressing-up with Alber Elbaz in the new PORTER Magazine.

Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are the best kind of days within my working week. It’s not because I’m keen to ‘get back on it’ on the Monday or that I receive a reassuring “you’re halfway through the week, babe” from Wednesday and a “Sod it, it’s practically weekend; let’s have a chocolate éclair” on Friday. It’s because Net-a-Porter updates it’s ‘What’s New’ on these days and I can have a sneaky look at lunchtime on my iPad.



Monday afternoon had me scanning through planning what i’d wear for a night out in Manchester on Saturday if I was worth £1 Million+ and could afford the Alexander Wang clothing of my desire. My friend, Lucy, celebrates her 20th birthday today and she’s feeling old. So, naturally, we’re going to go out at the weekend and be irresponsible. I thought this meant too much cake. It means clubs, appaz.

I don’t know what to wear.

For those of you that follow anything remotely fashion-related on Instagram, like me, you’ll have had PORTER Magazine (‘powered by Net-a-Porter’) rammed down your throat everyday for the last month. It’s everywhere.

Natalie Massenet, both glamourous face of and brain behind Net-a-Porter, has suggested that the women reading this magazine will have an annual income of £170,000+.


Alexandra Shulman of British Vogue, however, has allegedly said that it “sounds like a grand Sainsbury’s Magazine”. Fortunately, I like my Sainsbury’s Magazine on a Sunday morning with a sugary coffee and a bagel. So, I parted with my FIVE POUNDS (it’s okay because there’s only going to be six issues a year) and bought myself a copy. Yes, it is for manicured women that earn an eye-watering amount of money each year. But, these women have their own careers and children, they commute each morning and they’re educated. Basically, it’s written for superwomen that don’t exist. But, I like it.


PORTER Magazine, £5.00.

I touched on this in Monday’s post but, again, I like the tone in which it’s written. It’s not stuffy or authoritative. There’s not a hideous amount of ads, but, instead, a subtle note at the bottom of each page; reminding you that everything you see can be bought online.

Some of the articles are fascinating. ‘Behind Enemy Lines’ is an account of, photojournalist, Lynsey Addario’s kidnapping in Libya in 2011 and the aftermath. Harvey Weinstein has written a piece about his latest film ‘Grace of Monaco’ and the political crisis that inspired the film. Photographer, David Bailey, provides an account of his encounters with Andy Warhol, also.

There’s some beautiful portraits of Uma Thurman which is reason enough to read it, really.

My favourite article, however, was a write-up about Amanda Staveley; “gatekeeper to the fabulous wealth of the Middle East”. Being familiar with the stock market and a regular trader, this one piqued my interest. She is an inspiring woman who brokers deals between western companies with powerful figures in the United Arab Emirates and Dubai; areas where women holding positions of such responsibility are few and far between.

The magazine doesn’t present fashion as disposable and faddy. Within it’s pages, PORTER presents clothing and accessories as purchases to be treated as investment pieces; treasures that you can pull out of your wardrobe and wear many different ways for years to come.That wouldn’t make me feel that much more comfortable about spending £195.00-£1,070.00 on a blouse but, y’know, it’s aspirational.

I found weekend outfit inspiration via “The Rules of…Dressing Up by Lanvin’s Alber Elbaz”.

Cursed with the measly height of 5″3, I am resigned to the fact that i’ll have to wear heels when i’m out to at least be at eye-level of my companions. But no more.

Short women everywhere! Throw off the shackles of your height-complex, because ‘baz says that ‘comfort is imperative’!


More realistic in every sense… These flats are £29.99 at I love the gold detailing on the ankle strap; making these pumps evening appropriate.

For his SS11 show, Elbaz had the models walk in flat sandals because the titanium heels he had designed were too uncomfortable. In his interview, he says that ‘the girls walked with such strength that it didn’t matter’. I haven’t asked anyone, but i’m not convinced that I ‘walk with strength’. In these beauties though (above), I could glide and not hobble across the city, crying inside. I’d pair them with cropped, slim trousers and a chiffon blouse. Maybe a loose tuxedo jacket?

Can you wear trousers to go dancing?

Oh God, start again.

Writing this blog, I don’t claim to have any authority. I know that Saturday evening will see me hopping around in front of the mirror, trying to brush my hair and teeth simultaneously, one shoe on and the other off, cursing. I’ll have changed my mind twice about what i’m going to wear and, you know what, I still won’t be happy with it. But, it’s okay because PORTER tells me so…

Perfect is the end. Perfection is what scares me. When you see photos of those perfect ladies , you realize it is as far away from perfect as you can imagine. Perfect people, perfect scenarios, perfect moments, perfect clothes, for me, are boring. I like imperfections; I like the tension.

-Alber Elbaz being a babe in PORTER Magazine, Spring 2014.

Cool, Alber. Yeah, I’ll go for that. Got any Lanvin cast-offs for this weekend you can hook me up with?